Other Firsts: Coach Awesome

H, other kids, Coach Awesome

I almost sprint from my car to the playing fields. H’s first night of golf lessons began at 5:00 PM, and thanks to a snare of Monday traffic, I’m 45 minutes late. I can see him in the field at the far end of a straight line. He’s smiling and holding a club, but instead of swinging, he’s shouting. 

The second coach is saying something. I’m too far away to hear exactly what, so to me, he sounds like a grown-up from a Charlie Brown cartoon. 

Coach #2: Wah wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah. 

Kids: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! 

Coach #2: Wah wah wah wah, wah wah, wah wah wah wah. 

Kids: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! 

I join GB on the sidelines. His hands are in his pockets, and he’s trying not to look cold. 

“What’s going on?” I ask, watching the kids jump up and down. 

“That guy over there, in the red shorts? That’s Coach Awesome.” 

“Coach Awesome?” 

“And that guy over there in the blue? Coach Slurpie.” 

“Wow. What are they doing?” 

“Every time I think they’ll start swinging, they don’t. They spent the first half hour talking about the parts of their clubs.” 

“A club has parts? It’s not just a club?” 

“Right. So they’re just kind of standing around. You’ll like this, though: Coach Awesome asked each kid to state his name and his favorite food.” 

“What did H say?” 

“H. Noodles.” 

I laugh. 

~*~ 

Coach Awesome: [shouting] SKY HAWKS READY? 

Kids: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! 

Coach Awesome: [shouting] I SAID!…SKY HAWKS READY? 

Kids: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! 

Coach Awesome: DRIVE! 

Little clubs start swinging. H whiffs and whiffs and whiffs. And whiffs and whiffs. Coach Slurpie stops by to help him make contact with the ball. O distracts me for a moment, and when I look back at H, his ball is sailing across the sky. 

H jumps up and down. Coach Slurpie offers a hand, and they low five. 

It’s clear to me: These coaches know what they’re doing. H is competitive, and if he’s not great at something right away, he’ll give up on it. But here on the playing fields, he’ll try again. And again. And again. Because Coaches Awesome and Slurpie make him feel good about himself. 

Coach Awesome: Get in line! Right behind me!…Great! Now stick your arms out like you’re an airplane. We’re going to fly over to the shelter house. Ready, set, go! 

The kids buzz past us and race toward the shelter house. They disappear for the next half hour, and when I walk past the shelter house door, I see that they’re putting. 

~*~ 

And now I’m a fan of golf!

Because really, it sounds like a dream sport. Killing time, driving and chipping, chatting while your friends putt around? Is it really that social? And is it really that lazy? 

If yes, then sign me up, Coach Awesome. I’ll pay extra if I can drive the golf cart. 

~*~ Find me on Twitter @36×37
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#9: Maura Meets a Famous Guy. And a Famous Guy. And a Famous Guy.

I decided to meet a famous guy this weekend. So I did. 

Chris Fowler waving at my mom

If you follow sports you might just be impressed. 

If you don’t follow sports, this is Chris Fowler. He’s probably best known for hosting ESPN’s College GameDay every Saturday in the fall. He also anchors large tennis tournaments (including the ATP), The Breeder’s Cup, and the FIFA World Cup. 

He celebrated his 48^th birthday on Monday. But before that, on Saturday, I actually got to talk to the guy as I handed him a polka dot pen and swirled in my own nervousness. 

The bottom of Chris's note to my kids

Here’s how I kicked off our conversation: “Chris, I have two little boys at home who would absolutely love your signature.” 

It was such a line. My boys are 3 and 5, and while they love football, they really only know this much about it: 1) The ball is brown, you throw it and catch it. 2) You cheer as loudly as you can for the Buckeyes. 

Even if they don’t know Chris’s name yet, I’m sure they’d know his voice. When you live in a Big 10 college town like we do, football is your backdrop from Labor Day to New Year. Considering that, Chris’s voice has been in their football-loving ears since they were babies. 

Chris was friendly. “Oh sure, just let me fix this,” he said while fiddling with his mic. And then, he was as cool and good-hearted as you’d expect. He waved to my mother, wrote a note to my boys, and chatted with my mom’s friend, Dee. When it started to rain, he said goodbye, we took cover, and it was over. 

It was a really good celebrity experience. Thanks, Chris. Happy Birthday. 

~*~ 

Later, I met silver fox Brad Gilbert. Brad took the ATP title in 1989, where he systematically beat Pete Sampras, Michael Chang, Boris Becker and Stefan Edberg. On Saturday, he was a total mug for the camera: 

Brad Gilbert mugging for the camera

And seconds after, I met Patrick McEnroe. 

Patrick McEnroe

Although you might know Patrick’s older brother John a bit better, Patrick won the French Open with his doubles partner in 1989. Like Chris, he was totally open to banter. But I’m having trouble taking his signature seriously: 

The autograph equivalent of a guy handing you a bogus phone number.

~*~ 

I was also on the broadcast for a quick 30 seconds, but I don’t have the footage. Don’t worry, you’re not missing anything…just me looking like a goofball, waving at camera 3. 

Even with all of that, I could have pushed it further. It would have been so easy to ask for a picture with these guys, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. They would have said yes, because they were nice guys, and maybe that’s why I didn’t ask. It just didn’t feel right pushing those boundaries and taking advantage of their generosity. 

As for meeting one of the competing tennis pros? Not this year, although I watched for them. However, I did get a lead for next year: apparently, one of the players has a place he likes to visit in Cincinnati just before a match. It’s a  ritual for him. A superstition, almost. If he makes it to the finals next year, I might just make it to that place at the designated time. And then maybe I’ll accidentally bump into him, and use my kids as an excuse to strike up a conversation. 

See you next year, Andy. 

~*~ Find me on Twitter @37×37
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#9 is coming: Maura Tries to Meet Someone Famous

This just occurred to me: I’ve never explained why “meet someone famous” is on my list of 36 things. 

Last year around this time, some of my facebook friends updated their statuses to list the names of famous people they’d met. One woman took dance classes with Carmen Electra. One guy bumped into pre-scandal Tiger at the airport. One woman had cocktails with Betty White. 

(Cocktails! With Betty White!) 

Meanwhile, the best I could say was this: I ran into Heavy D and the Boyz once after Easter brunch at the Hyatt. I had no idea who they were then. To me, this doesn’t count. 

So I think I’d like to meet someone famous this year. Just to say I did. And since I don’t run in famous circles, I’m just going to have to put myself in places famous people might be. Like the ATP Tennis Tournament I’m attending in Cincinnati. The men’s finals are this weekend. All the big names are still competing. 

So this Andy Roddick thing I mentioned a few posts back? It’s not nearly as stalker-ish as it sounds. It’s just that when I went to the ATP tournament last year, I was this close to Roger Federer. Er-er.   

Tennis Maestro Roger Federer, ATP, Cincinnati 2009

So I have to believe I can somehow pull some strings this weekend to bump into a Tennis Great. Like Rafa. That would be (more than) fine. Roddick? Absolutely. Andy Murray? Well, no. We have to draw the line somewhere. 

It’s a girls-only weekend; I have some bold wing(wo)men to help me. So, we’ll see. It could happen.

Come back Monday and I’ll tell you all about it. 

~*~ Find me on Twitter @36×37
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