Maura’s List of Ridiculously Great Irish Things

(google image via literatehousewife.com)

(For best results, please read with an Irish brogue.)

Sure, if I didn’t have big plans for this week! I thought I’d be tellin’ ye all kinds of tall tales and reciting dirty limericks and playin’ Irish drinking songs for ye on th’ days leadin’ up to this, St. Patrick’s Day. But alas, it was not meant to be. I’m still tryin’ to handle my tasks at the office now that I’m one editor short.

While I’m doin’ me work, I’ll be leavin’ ye with some ridiculous Irish greatness to consider.

~*~

Confession Jokes

Who doesn’t love a quick bit about sin and atonement? There are lots of jokes about confession, but this one’s my favorite:

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It’s been six months since my last confession. On top of that, I’ve been with a loose woman.”

The priest sighs. “Is that you, Tommy O’Shaughnessy?”

“Yes, Father, ’tis I.”

“And who might be the woman you were with?”

“I shan’t be tellin’ you, Father. It would ruin her reputation.”

“Well, Tommy, I’m bound to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O’Malley?”

“I cannot say, Father.”

“Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?”

“I’m sorry, sir, but I’ll not name her.”

“Was it Fiona Mallory, then?”

“Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”

The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re a steadfast lad, Tommy O’Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But, you’ve sinned, and you must atone. Be off with you now…”

Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

Tommy pats his friend on the back. “Three more good leads, lad. Let’s go.”

The Wild Rover by The Pogues

No one captures an Irish drinking song better than Shane MacGowan and his band’s punk take on this traditional Irish tune.

Requiscat by Oscar Wilde

Wilde is widely considered to be one of the most brilliant writers of his time. What I love most about this piece is how he uses understatement and control to so elegantly convey one of life’s most devastating emotions.

Tread lightly, she is near
Under the snow,
Speak gently, she can hear
The daisies grow.

All her bright golden hair
Tarnished with rust,
She that was young and fair
Fallen to dust.

Lily-like, white as snow,
She hardly knew
She was a woman, so
Sweetly she grew.

Coffin-board, heavy stone,
Lie on her breast,
I vex my heart alone,
She is at rest.

Peace, peace, she cannot hear
Lyre or sonnet,
All my life’s buried here,
Heap earth upon it.

James Joyce’s Dubliners

When you have an Irish mother like I do, Irish fiction has a way of peppering the bookshelves. When I was 9, I picked up Finnegan’s Wake, realized it was too far over my head, and never revisited Joyce again.

Until.

Last year I read Dubliners, and spent every last word cursing myself for having missed out on Joyce for so long.

If you’re so inspired, read this Dubliners excerpt, titled “The Sisters.”

Irish Cream Coffee

Forget Guinness. Here’s how to celebrate the luck o’ the Irish.

1 12-oz. wine glass, preheated 10 oz. Bewley’s Gold Roast Instant Coffee
1-1/2 jigger Bailey’s Original Irish Cream
1/4 c. heavy cream, whipped until stiff peaks form ground cinnamon (optional)

Pour hot coffee into the heated glass. Add the Bailey’s and stir well to blend. Top with a mound of whipped cream. Sprinkle with cinnamon if desired.
Yield: 1 serving

Irish Soda Bread

Of course you’ll need to nibble on something while you enjoy your favorite Irish beverage. Here’s a recipe from Gourmet Magazine, March 2002 to get you started.

(google image via justcastironcookware.com)

Irish Setters

When I was but a wee lass, we had a dog who looked just like this:

(google image via dogbreedinfo.com)

His name was Rory, and from what I remember, he slobbered a lot and wasn’t very smart, but I loved him.

Irish Blessings

I like to laugh at the raunchy ones. (Who doesn’t?) But what I like even more is a kind phrase said with sincerity, like this one.

May you live a long life
Full of gladness and health,
With a pocket of gold
As the least of your wealth.
May the dreams you hold dearest,
Be those which come true,
The kindness you spread,
Keep returning to you.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to ye and yours!

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Today’s Cool Thing

This trailer for BBC’s Human Planet has some of the most incredible footage I’ve ever seen.

I’m not kidding. It will take your breath away.

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My (third) list of ridiculously great things

 

google image: 0.tqn.com

It snowed on my way home, frosting and glazing the streets into a slick of black ice. Just a mile from my house, I saw a man running through the bitter cold with a sturdy German Shepherd by his side. I did a double-take—not at the guy, but at the dog. She looked just like my sweet old girl, Bosco, and she carried a thick, 3 ft. long stick in her mouth. Her tail wagged away the snow. She was jubilant.

“See?” I thought. “That’s great. Now there’s happiness.” In my mind’s eye, I scratched the Bosco look-alike behind the ears and said, “Who’s a good girl? Who’s a good girl!”

So ridiculously great. Ridiculous greatness.

It must be that time again…

~*~

Maura’s (Third) List of Ridiculously Great Things

1. The funny things my kids say now that they watch commercials.

A few days ago, the TV in our family room broke, so GB disconnected the small flat screen in our bedroom and moved it downstairs to watch the Steelers seize the AFC championship. (Woot!) The smaller screen size prompted H to wax pragmatic.

“How much did you pay for that TV?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” GB said. “${X} or something.”

“That’s a shame,” H said. “You should have called Progressive [Auto] Insurance. They would have let you name your price.”

2. One Hundred Years of Solitude, by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez

I’ve only just started to read this classic work, but I’m already hooked. The first sentence alone was enough to snag me:

Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win a Pulitzer Prize.

3. A Lego A Day Blog

Honestly? This blog is one of the best things I’ve ever seen. I’m not kidding.

Dan, the blog’s creator, is a 5^th grade teacher and gifted photographer with a slight obsession: Every day, he posts a photo of a Lego mini-figure doing some action-packed, usually outdoor activity. I cannot get enough of this site. Here’s a link to one of my recent favorites. Just click—it’s absolutely worth it. But be sure you have some time to spare, because trust me, you’ll want to keep browsing once you get there.

4. Those “easy” loads of laundry.

I’m talking about the all-towel/all-jeans loads, with not a sock or pair of underwear in sight.

5. And speaking of jeans…

By some genius stroke of luck, I pulled a pair of Ann Taylor Loft jeans off the clearance rack and they fit perfectly—my favorite pair of jeans in all of my 36 years. Price? $11. Ridiculous greatness.

6. Le Jolie’s Worldwide Tour  via Blurt

Have you ever come across something you wish you’d thought of first? Something, thy name is The Jolie Pez Project. About five months ago, Omawarisan, the hilarious mastermind behind Blurt, purchased an Angelina Jolie action figure from eBay for the express purpose of mailing her around to “save the world” and also visit bloggers he knows. My friend Wendy (from Herding Cats in Hammond River) recently hosted Le Jolie on the Canadian leg of her tour. (Wendy dedicated three whole posts to the visit. Here’s part 1.) Visit The Jolie Pez Project to see what other exotic climes Plastic Ms. Brad Pitt has visited.

7. Lego Ohio Stadium via Paul Janssen

Photo by Paul Janssen

Personally, I’d like to make the case for hosting Le Jolie here in Columbus. THE Ohio State University’s Paul Janssen (associate professor of physiology and cell biology and associate professor in cardiovascular medicine) spent the last two years building an exact replica of Ohio Stadium—out of Legos. (Read ESPN’s post.) I want Le Jolie to stand on the “O” at the 50 yard line. I don’t know Paul Janssen, but why should that stand in the way of making this magic happen? I’ll have Le Jolie’s people call his people.

8. The Decemberists’ new album, The King is Dead

You either love or hate these guys. I fall in the “blushingly adore” camp thanks to their poetic lyrics and smart compositions. Give their first single a try: “Don’t Carry It All”

9. My new laptop

It arrived Monday, and will be imaged and ready for use by the end of today. I haven’t taken it for a test drive yet, but for God’s sake, it has to be better than the piece of crap I’ve been using.

10. Valentine’s Day

For all you lovers out there…our favorite day is just 20 days away. Start writing your sonnets now.

Want more? Read Ridiculously Great List One, and Ridiculously Great List Two.

Have your own list of ridiculously great things? Sound off below. Bloggers love comments, especially me, so gimme the goods.

~*~ Find me on Twitter @36×37
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My (Second) List of Ridiculously Great Things

GB went to the store yesterday.

Usually, that’s my job. I make the list, stroll through the aisles, laugh at the magazine headlines at checkout, and then try like crazy to remember where I parked.

Then, as I’m putting away the food, there’s always that period of discovery where I realize I’ve forgotten the eggs (always the eggs!), and can now add yet another case of bottled water to our accidental stockpile.

When GB goes to the store, however, his list is exact, and he comes home with precisely the right things. Plus, he has a habit of sneaking in a few unexpected, well-received extras, like these:

Those brown things atop the floral notebook? They’re Oreos. Shaped like footballs. Love.

They made me think of that List of Ridiculously Great Things I compiled a few weeks ago. It’s time to add to it.

~*~

Maura’s (Second) List of Ridiculously Great Things

1. That moment when a parched, brown summer disappears into a windy, dripping, moody autumn downpour, so you scrap what you’re doing, open all the windows and decide to make some tea and read the paper.
2. People who hum to themselves.
3. The fact my Irish mother’s lasagna is better than any other lasagna in the world. (Don’t question me.)
4. Slim T for Men! (Funny. I had no idea men worried about this sort of thing. Plus, the fake six-pack? So brill.)
5. A vote of confidence from your boss.
6. The way I can close my eyes and tell my children apart by the way they smell: H smells like summertime, O smells like cookies.
7. When kids draw pictures like these:  
8. When you’re in the middle of a story, and you say something like, “I was watching a movie, and it had…oh, that one guy…you know, from that one movie that was so popular a few years ago…Why am I blanking??? Who is that guy?” And your significant other says “Hayden Christensen?” and you’re all, “Yes! Hayden Christensen!” Spousal mental telepathy.
9. Leslie’s brand new book club, and all the ladies in it.  
10. The way my grandmother used to tell me the same stories over and over and over, and how I’m so grateful for that, because I can recite them to myself now that she’s gone.
11. My (5 month old) buddy Landon’s two bottom teeth, and how proud his mom Sara is of them.
12. Teaching a child about the physics of flight by rolling down the car window, telling him to reach into the air with a flat hand, and watching his face light up while the air forces his palm upward.
13. Skipping stones. Thumb wars. Paper/scissors/rock. Flashlight tag.
14. The movie Amelie. (Here’s part I, with English subtitles.)
15. Gorilla Vs. Bear.
16. When you loan a friend one of your favorite books, and she actually reads it, and she returns it to you with a Post-it note about how great she thought it was. And instead of nodding in yes-this-book-is-excellent agreement, you think about how nice it is to have a friend like that.
17. Stereogum’s 40 Best New Bands of 2010. I have not yet had the chance to check this out, so I can only assume it is 40 different kinds of fantastic. I can’t wait to listen.
18. Those new Pretzel M&Ms. Sweet baby Haysoos, the deliciousness is unstoppable.
19. Knowing you’re just a few days away from heading south to eat BBQ with old friends.
20. Celebrating somebody else’s birthday.
21. (You had to see this coming:)

Roadside Shoe!

This one comes to us from the excellent Elizabeth from repletewithclass.wordpress.com. I love her blog, and her Roadside Shoe explanation, so I’m using her words exactly.

“I happen to have a shot of some abandoned Navy Mid issue white shoes. My brother graduated from the Naval Academy in May. Commissioning is a day-long event, most of which is spent outside Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium. So, the Mids (midshipmen) congregate outside a gate until it’s time to move inside. The crowd thinned and the parking lot cleared and this lonely pair of shoes was all that was left! I mean, how do you lose shoes like that? At your Commissioning? Surrounded by hundreds of other Mids who already have those shoes on?! Anyway, sending it along. Hoping you’ll post it with other roadside shoes!”

Have a roadside shoe? Send it to 36x37blog@gmail.com. I’ll feature your shoe pic here, and if you have a blog, I’ll pimp that, too. 

What’s on your list of ridiculously great things? Leave them in the comments.

~*~ Find me on Twitter @36×37
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My (First) List of Ridiculously Great Things

When I was in high school, I had this book called 14,000 Things to be Happy About, by Barbara Ann Kipfer. The premise was simple: Each time the author thought of something that made her happy, she added it to a list that eventually turned into 14,000 happy things.

I carried the book with me everywhere—even to college and graduate school—and made notes in its margins. I jotted down memories, added my own “things,” and linked those “things” to people and places I knew. Every person and everything I cared about back then was in that book.

Recently, I stumbled across Neil Pasricha’s blog 1,000 Awesome Things. It should be on its own list because it’s ridiculously great. It’s detailed. It’s universal. It’s funny and poignant and sweet. And now it’s also a book—The Book of Awesome.

It makes me want to flip through my old copy of 14,000 Things. Except that I can’t find it. Anywhere. I can say this because I looked for it tonight. I don’t feel right not knowing where it is, so I’m going to draft a quick list of 20 Ridiculously Great Things. Because I want to, and because I can’t think of anything else to write tonight.

Maura’s List of 20 Ridiculously Great Things

1. Waking in the dead of night to discover you still have two hours left to sleep.
2. Getting up early to run, and then coming home to a sleeping house.
3. Realizing that someone you know knows someone you know. And she has gossip. And it’s juicy.
4. Taking that first bite of Jeni’s bourbon buttered pecan ice cream, then taking the next bite and the next bite and the next bite.
5. Spotting a Great Dane. (Bonus if there are two or more.)
6. Finding out that the meeting you’ve been dreading has been canceled. (Actually, I think Neil mentioned this in a recent post.)
7. Rereading Hemingway’s The Snows of Kilimanjaro, and acknowledging that, even though it’s not the best thing you’ve ever read, it’s still pretty damn close.
8. Rediscovering this song and this song and this song.
9. Reading your parents’ old love letters.
10. Writing on a rainy afternoon, with a hot mug of tea to your right, and peanut M&Ms to your left.
11. Meeting an old friend’s new baby.
12. Honestly believing your significant other is even better with age.
13. Handing your child an invitation to a birthday party, then watching his reaction.
14. Sifting through your childhood treasures, and deciding you still can’t part with any of them.
15. Discovering that the song in your head is also on the radio, then secretly wondering if you’re psychic.
16. Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations.
17. Walking into a restaurant where the staff knows your name, and they already know your order, and it gets to the point where you’re embarrassed about that, but still you keep going back, and they continue to be happy to see you.
18. Meeting up with old friends who are so happy to be together again you all just talk over each other, then laugh, then talk over each other some more.
19. Deciding it’s time to call it a night when your child wakes up in the wee hours, comes downstairs, sits with you while you’re writing a blog post, then falls asleep on your lap.

Have your own ridiculously great things? Add them below. Bloggers love comments, especially me, so gimme the goods.

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